Balthasar Gracian and other stuff
I read, re-read Balthasar Gracian's "The Art of Worldly Wisdom" on the bus ride out to the "new campus" forty-five minutes outside Shanghai. The disturbing quote, "Life is a warfare against the malice of others." Privately, in my twenties, I thought I was arrogant to believe that life was about "How to survive in a world of dangerous and often powerful "morons" - a bit naive about deliberate hatred, and deliberate and systematic action against others that has nothing to do with being stupid but being bad to the bone.
It would seem that just appearing to be happy is enough to arouse the contempt of others, not just my in-laws, some of whom admit to be "jealous" of our life as expats, but others who seem barely able to conceal the frothing at the mouth, the seething that is reflected in the worst of bad manners from people who pride themselves on such. Won't be seeing them in the near future. Others who have had privileges of the bourgeois variety their entire lives and then say they are "jealous" of us. Who made you conform? You decided to play it safe! You decided to have children, marry and had security and pleasures and privileges I never had! Now, in my new life, suddenly so many people are as jealous as the one sin of my youth, was being young and working very hard to stay fit to a decent degree of attractiveness, not stellar, but enough to bring out the animosity and cattiness of much more privileged friends, relatives and colleagues!
The good news is that the work on this new extension of a European campus through a joint venture here is finally reaching a threshold - the new campus is built as part of the site of another large university-- the "old universities" in town have moved to cities or clusters of newly built campuses that are a pain for faculty and staff to get there, but lovely buildings and facilities for the paying parents and students.
To be respected by my colleagues, proven in their field, is quite different than the obscene and deadly pettiness of the k-12 scene in Shanghai to which many uninformed parents are subjected. Many know they or their companies are being taken for over-inflated tuitions but so many of the teachers are sick f***s who should NOT be around children. And there are great people too, but the exception in my year here.
I am working with Europeans, Chinese and other nationalities, all of whom, thus far, have proven to be very professional; in a discussion on a British text that actually spelled out the "n-word" without astericks, they saw my shock, I explained the sensitivity to people of color and the reversal of calling them minorities in the U.S., how people prefer to name themselves, the adjective of disability not preceding the identify of the person, etc. I was surprised that the Chinese English teachers were sincerely grateful about my comments on incorrect language in our texts and other things that, as an expert on my own culture, they want to know to communicate to the students. This is quite different than being made fun of by Western colleagues on the "P.C." politically correct discount.
It's hard to believe what a difference this is. Yes, I've had my salary slashed, but there is room to grow where I am now. Mr. F. has taken a demanding job I hope he'll find rewarding, that bumps up his income a bit. One day his toddlers had parents and " aiyis" and the next day they were gone. A bit abrupt I think. Today he held a two-three year old until it fell asleep. A first. I don't think I've ever done that. Sweet thought, but will he want to do this next year?
It would seem that just appearing to be happy is enough to arouse the contempt of others, not just my in-laws, some of whom admit to be "jealous" of our life as expats, but others who seem barely able to conceal the frothing at the mouth, the seething that is reflected in the worst of bad manners from people who pride themselves on such. Won't be seeing them in the near future. Others who have had privileges of the bourgeois variety their entire lives and then say they are "jealous" of us. Who made you conform? You decided to play it safe! You decided to have children, marry and had security and pleasures and privileges I never had! Now, in my new life, suddenly so many people are as jealous as the one sin of my youth, was being young and working very hard to stay fit to a decent degree of attractiveness, not stellar, but enough to bring out the animosity and cattiness of much more privileged friends, relatives and colleagues!
The good news is that the work on this new extension of a European campus through a joint venture here is finally reaching a threshold - the new campus is built as part of the site of another large university-- the "old universities" in town have moved to cities or clusters of newly built campuses that are a pain for faculty and staff to get there, but lovely buildings and facilities for the paying parents and students.
To be respected by my colleagues, proven in their field, is quite different than the obscene and deadly pettiness of the k-12 scene in Shanghai to which many uninformed parents are subjected. Many know they or their companies are being taken for over-inflated tuitions but so many of the teachers are sick f***s who should NOT be around children. And there are great people too, but the exception in my year here.
I am working with Europeans, Chinese and other nationalities, all of whom, thus far, have proven to be very professional; in a discussion on a British text that actually spelled out the "n-word" without astericks, they saw my shock, I explained the sensitivity to people of color and the reversal of calling them minorities in the U.S., how people prefer to name themselves, the adjective of disability not preceding the identify of the person, etc. I was surprised that the Chinese English teachers were sincerely grateful about my comments on incorrect language in our texts and other things that, as an expert on my own culture, they want to know to communicate to the students. This is quite different than being made fun of by Western colleagues on the "P.C." politically correct discount.
It's hard to believe what a difference this is. Yes, I've had my salary slashed, but there is room to grow where I am now. Mr. F. has taken a demanding job I hope he'll find rewarding, that bumps up his income a bit. One day his toddlers had parents and " aiyis" and the next day they were gone. A bit abrupt I think. Today he held a two-three year old until it fell asleep. A first. I don't think I've ever done that. Sweet thought, but will he want to do this next year?
posted by Anonymous at 2:40 PM
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