BACK IN MY LITTLE TOWN -- SHANGHAI

I just arrived back in Shanghai after a month of travel. We returned to a breeze and cloudless bright skies so clear and that the skyline looked etched.

The first week of July we went to Koh Tao to learn to dive, something Mr. F. long wanted to do, an incentive to quit smoking. That didn't really work yet, but I am certified, and ate my share of pad thai noodles.

I had just come off a successful but draining litigation to get out of my two-year contract. It came out better than the events leading up to the decision would have predicted, but I'd been subject to excessive amounts of adrenalin for a protracted time, and the diving course was too accelerated for any relaxation. (It seems to be the modus operandi of open water courses at many places around the world.)


We took a boat and train to get to Bangkok, since we couldn't fly after diving for about 18 hours, that was cool, I had a beauty treatment before we left for Shanghai, with Dr. Nan in a luxury mall, while Mr. F. walked around. We got home to Shanghai in the early morning, did some banking, paid the rent in the less than 12 hours to get ready for our trips to the States.

We were in Los Angeles for a blurred week. Almost every evening scheduled by my mother for some activity with the nieces and nephew, which was okay, because they're bright and dear and I used to be close with them.


A great evening with Mr. F's former boss, Ms. G., an exceptionally fine wise and warm woman long ago from the Islands (Trinidad) for whom Mr. F. worked in Valencia, along with Mrs. V. from India -- we drove out to her home where she'd cooked homemade Indian food.

One thing I miss here -- the homogeneity of the population and lack of diversity makes me feel something is missing and having grown up in L.A., I feel more at ease with people from all over the world. I hear that of the double digit millions here, there are 300,000 Taiwanese and 70,000 other -- meaning Aussies, North Americans and Europeans for the most part. The entreprenuers, the multinational careerists.

Maybe you can only understand the joy of looking forward toa few "everyday" comforts only if you've lived a middle-class life and move to such a different culture...a haircut by people familiar with hair that isn't like theirs, shoes and t-shirts that 1) fit and 2) don't have sequins, beads and English thrown on them in strange, usually meaninglyess or embarassing permutations.

I don't know how many people wait months and get excited to go shopping for J. Crew tank t-shirts, but I was, since I can't buy much of things made here - we made several searches for shoes, because I can't get my size (8 1/2) anywhere, unless it is a fluke. Mr. F. got running shoes.

After dinners in Los Angeles, we spent hours at night online trying to book a flight to Ohio and come home via Cancun, to see the in-laws who hadn't pressed the reply button when we said we were coming. "We" as in they were gushing the first time Mr. F. went back on his own in January, and I had to come back here to work. I didn't want to go, but his 93 year old grandmother was in the hospital and just because of them, I thought she shouldn't be punished.

As compensation for what I knew was going to be dreadful, we worked in a "multi-city" itinerary and a vacation on the Riviera Maya after that -- with jet lag and evenings on the Internet, we sort of missed being in LA.

While my parents are in constant communication and excited for our being here, even admiring, his parents haven't acknowledged us in the last two years, nor thanked us for holiday or birthday gifts. By their own standards as "decent people" they have fallen quite short.

On the day of my birthday dinner, my mother sent me to her hairdresser, presumably to blonde me again, after having my hair fried in Asia for over two years and abandoning the "gentle lightening" effect. I went along with it, I had a feeling she wanted me to look good for the enemy.

The in-laws behaved worse than we could have expected. Jaw-dropping, rude, nasty, mean.

I was born on Bastille Day and I'm left-handed. What a coincidence, if you get my meaning. We left early with a note.

We did see "Granny" who died yesterday, we found out this morning. The trip couldn't have been timed better. We saw her twice. However, the rural northern Ohio I saw gave me the creeps, it was so homogenous, eerie.

We tried to relax on the Riviera Maya but our digs were in Tulum, a bit far south on the coast, in a little posada, pleasant but we had to schlepp everywhere in the heat without a car because they wanted too much of a deposit and we didn't really plan ahead or shop around.

We were both upset about the badly behaved in-laws.

We did buy a time share for a very small deposit, so from now on we'll be able to stay in some great places that we exchange for our unit, for less money than we've payed for more rustic places that suited our taste just fine. Now I just need a new job!

We left Tulum on the morning of the 26th and with the day lost to the date zone, traveled for two-what seemed like three days. We didn't think to break up the trip. We spent five hours in Inchon's sterile transit lounge.

We overextended but we can't complain being lucky enough to do so much. We came home and watched DVDs and slept for two days.

Shanghai is not China, it is it's own scene, and I've heard the same sentiment from others informing me! Whatever, it is such a thriving economic environment, for many, although we see our share of poverty -- but it ain't Bangkok or the Sudan or India, we feel lucky to be here, whatever the hardships.

It is so disconnected to the LA life I knew and sometimes miss. The less said electronically about the scene the better, but there is some good info at www.chinastudygroup.org.

After being away, so many details of living become more conscious again, to be articulated in another post. Navigating daily life, I often feel as if I live, not on the other side of the planet, but as a guest on another planet. I don't really get what's going on here.